Monday morning go to visit the doctor as I wanted to get a remedy to heal my terrible sore throat. But on Tuesday morning, I ended up going back to the clinic to ask for cough mixture. I've been hiding myself under the blanket for the entire week and merely write anything for my thesis that's going to due on 17th this month.

Irene tells me that it's all illusional. The more I hide, the more afraid I am when I wake up. I almost have the thought of cutting myself into pieces or give up on everything. This is the most critical time for me, if I don't get through this semester, means that I'll have to waste another year facing the same topic, and all the people around me will be so young.

There are tonnes of other problems that pops up when I was trying to sleep last night. If I were to flunk, my parents will be very dissapointed, and no matter how much effort my dad put in getting me a job, I'll have to turn it down as I can't graduate.

God, I don't even think I learn anything benificial electronically over my 4 long years of degree course. But I did take up a lot of other skills namely, html, vbscript, photoshop, and other soft skills. Shit, as if those are of any use at all. Unless there's a TV show where ppl would prompt me some misc question on Photoshop that I have to answer without even turning the software on.

Dun worry, I won't be killing myself yet. Most probably will be spending more money over the phone crying to my parents and talking with Irene. She's the toughest girls I know, u won't even know when she's sick and working. She'll be my motivation to finish my thesis, my course, and get out of this suffering student life for good.

FootNote: Thanks also to Elsie Jie for comforting me over Y! Messanger. Thanks for Papi & Mami for listening to me nagging. You people really help a lot.